Doubt a lot of people read my journal on here since I've been terrible at updating it. But as with most life-altering changes I had posted about on here, this one is as real as it gets. I'm finally moving back to San Diego, California in less than two weeks. I have a surge of emotions going as I'm scared, excited, sad, happy, regretful and hopeful all at the same time. I moved to Milwaukee 4 years ago in pursuit of something different, a change of pace, new fresh faces, different views on life, and love. But when everything fell apart with my relationship, it was undoubtedly the most trying times of my life. I hated life, humanity, and views on love. I was pretty much set on being single for the rest of my life and the funny thing is, I was okay with that idea. All I needed to get me by was my family and close friends. Cos I know that they would be loyal to the end and that protecting them was all I could ever care about. I truly am the soldier of solace and there is not one person who could ever understand that about me. My hopes and dreams altered in a shattered world and I'm taking all this experience with me back home. As someone who has grown. As someone who will never forget and carry this pain with me always, as a reminder of how I lost who I was. A happy-go-lucky carefree guy with a vision and wonderment that wanted to be shared with the rest of the world. Maybe this will be the first steps in the process of finding that again but I don't know. Some chapters in life are left to be closed for good and I feel that this story has long burned its pages, never to be retraced again.

Aside all that, I am grateful for the lessons life threw my way. I'm thankful for the friends I have made in my wake. It reminded me of how wonderful life and humanity can be. No matter how small a city or community is, there are so many different walks in life... and that's what kept my fascination going. My visions intact as my surreal world gets painted on canvas, it was because of the daily routines of life, were broken with a different shade of light I have not seen before. I will miss many things here cos I'm leaving a life I thought was designed for me but I know that this is not who I am. I can put on a fake smile and no one will notice just how broken I really am. There will never be anyway to fix that. The experiences here are scars for life. The good. The bad. And everything in-between. But as with time, I will remain constant. I will keep moving forward. One foot in front of the other and with every breath I take, if you promise to never give up on me, I promise that my smiles will be sincere. I promise you. As the ocean calls my name, I can't wait to call it day with my favorite west coast friend... the sunset. It's been too long since I felt that safe and warm.